I am Sam and this is my brother Dean
by Rocksanne
Summary: Sam and Dean are brothers, but they are more than that. They are all they have each others. Here's my DeanSam series because I just really miss them as brothers.
1. Chapter 1

Sam is six months old. He don't know yet, but his life is changing forever. All he knows, now, is that he wants to cry - he does - and screams - he does that too - with all the strenght his little lungs have. Everything is hot around him, the burning house as the arms of his big brother who's holding him, and everything is loud but he tries, he really do, the concentrate only on the sound of Dean's voice who can't keep himself but repeats 'It's okay Sammy, everything's fine. It's okay, I've got you."

Later, the sounds, the too-much-heat are gone. Sam's cheeks are dry and he is sleeping, his tiny hand holding Dean's forefinger tightly. He is stucks in the middle of his for now family and everything is fine.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam is two years old when he awake because of the big sound breaking the sky. His eyes opens wide, he breathes fast. He wants to cry but he will not because Daddy will hear him and he will tell him that boys don't cry. Another sound break the sky and Sam closes his eyes before the big light comes in a flash. He always hated big lights. Even with his closed eyes, he jumps in surprise when the light come and he starts to tremble. He bits his lower lips to maitain his tears.

Suddenly, a blanket is on him, hidding from the world and someone joins him inside the nest. Sam opens his eyes again to see his brother Dean smiling at him. He smiles at him too and Dean starts to tell him a story. Slowly, Sam forget the big sound, don't even see the sudden lights here and there, only focuse on Dean's talking. He falls asleep again after few minutes, fear all gone, in the arms of his big brother.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam is four and there is flour suspended in the air. He sits at the table and watches Dean mixing little fruits together with flour and sugar, looking at the recipe more than once to be sure he is doing it right. He then checks his bowl and frowns.

"More strawberries," he decides. "Sammy, can you give me the strawberries?"

Sam nods and gets on his feet, takes the strawberries and hands them to Dean. Dean puts all the strawberries in his bowl and smiles.

"Perfect! This pie is going to be so good, what do you think?"

"Perfect!" Sam agrees.

It make Dean smiles even more and with Sam's help, he puts the strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and blackberries in the pie plate. They then cover it with pie crust and Sam runs outside house to go search for Bobby in the junkyard. He is the one who is going to check the pie and put it in the oven. The older man comes with a flood of grumpy mumbles that Sam can't hear.

"I ain't a babysitter. I ain't a baker either ! What kind of 8 year old makes a pie ?"

But as soon as he sees the pie, his gaze softens and he looks at Sam and Dean.

"That will be a damn good pie, boys."

He takes the pie and puts it in the oven. He ruffles Sam's hair on his way to leave the room and the two boys sits right in front of the oven.

"We're gonna watch the pie, Sammy."

Sam nods in approval and they stay there for the whole 40 minutes it takes for the pie to be ready. When the timer rings, Sam runs again to find Bobby. He takes the pie out of the oven and puts it on the counter.

"If one of you comes to me, crying, because you burned yourself on the pie, I will make you sleep outside, understand ? Don't touch the pie."

"Yeah, Uncle Bobby."

"Sam ?"

"Un-understand."

Bobby leaves again and Dean sighs.

"Making a pie takes so long."

Sam agrees with an exasperated sigh. He comes to sit with Dean on the floor and Dean puts his arm around his shoulder.

"Mom used to make really good pie. Do you think ours will be as good ?" Dean asks his brother.

"Dunno."

"I'm sure it is ! We put in so many strawberries."

"Strawbe-berries are good."

"I know you like them. I like them too. Do you think it's okay now ?"

Sam lifts his shoulders in response. They both stay silent for few minutes when Sam suddenly stands up.

"Sammy, what are you doing ?" Dean asks with a frown.

Sam doesn't answer and tries to reach the pie with his tiny hands. When he does, he feels a burning sensation and he takes his hands back. He looks at them and they are a bit red.

"Sam ? You okay ?"

When Sam doesn't say anything but look at Dean with watery eyes, Dean stands up and hurries to his brother to check his hands. He grabs him and goes to the sink, turning on the cold water.

"You're going to be okay, Sammy. Just put your hands in the water. Now, it's okay."

And like that, it's okay. The cold water stops the burning and Sam feels better.

"Am-am I going to sleep outsi-side, Dean ?" asks Sam with real concern.

"No, Sammy. You didn't cry. Uncle Bobby said that we were going to sleep outside if we cried."

Later, when Bobby comes in the kitchen to check the boys and serve the pie, he says nothing when he sees Sam's hands in a wet towel, just checks them to be sure they are ok. Neither Dean nor Sam says how Sam's hands were burned, but Bobby is not a fool. Since the tiny hands of the younger Winchester are okay, he takes a knife and cuts the now cool pie. He gives a slice to each brother and takes one for himself. Dean takes an enormous bite and he smiles; the pie is as good as his mom's. Dean is happy and Sam is happier; he won't sleep outside tonight and there are really a lot of strawberries in the pie. He likes strawberries.


	4. Chapter 4

"FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, DEAN, WAKE UP !" five years old Sam screams, jumping on the bed a few times.

He jumps on the ground and run to the dinner table to eat his breakfast besides John who is reading the newspaper. Dean awake slowly, rubbing his eyes and his face.

"No need to be that excited, it's not my first day of school," he says, "I already had some."

"It's _mine_, it's _important_ ! And I'll be with you, won't it be marvelous ?" answers Sam with excitement.

"Marvelous ?"

"I read it, it was in the crossword. It means more than awesome."

"I know what marvelous means, idiot !"

"I'm not an idiot !" protests Sam with a frown.

"Yes, you are, you are five years old and small."

"One day, I'll be taller than you."

"No you won't !"

"I will !"

"You won't !"

"Okay boys, enough," interrupts John, looking up the paper. "Nobody's an idiot and Sam won't be taller than you, Dean."

Sam whispers a 'This is not fair' while Dean get out of bed. He joins his father and brother at the table and takes a blueberries muffin.

"Dad," he whispers toward John so Sam don't hear. "You're not looking for a job, aren't you ?"

"Of course not, Dean, it's Sam's very first day of school, I won't miss that."

The three opened door of the Impala closes at the same time. Sam adjusts his packback nervously while looking at the school in front of them. He swallows when he sees how big the school is.

"Are you going to be okay ?" John asks, failling down on his knee and putting his hands on his son's shoulders.

Sam nods slowy, unsure of himself. He then thinks.

"It'll be okay. I'll be with Dean," he answers.

Dean smiles and nods too.

"Don't worry Dad I'll watch over him !"

John looks at both his sons with a fond smile. He grabs them and hold them tight in his arms.

"Of course you will."

He let them go and watch them walks in the school, Sam's still tiny hand in Dean's not so tiny hand.


	5. Chapter 5

"Dean, where is our mom ?" Sam asks when he is 6 years old.

Dean stops doing his homework to look at his brother. He thinks for a few seconds, searching for the same words John told him when Mary died, six years ago, when he was crying and everything was changing and Dean was lost. Those words that worked on him like a band-aid and comforted him as much as the hug his Dad gave him right after.

"She is with the angels," Dean finally answers.

"She is with the angels ?! Is she an angel now ?!" says Sam with big eyes.

Dean stands up, walks toward is brother and sits by his side, Sam's surprised eyes not leaving him. He smiles a bit.

"I think she is. She is watching over us, you know."

"How ?"

"I don't know," his shoulders lift up. "The way the angels do."

"But how do they do it?" Sam insists.

This make Dean think again. He wants to give the right answer, not just say something so Sam stop asking questions. He looks down after a moment, biting his lips.

"I don't know, Sammy. Dad never told me that."

"And what do you think ?"

Sam looks at him with hopeful eyes, like he has all the answers in the world. But he doesn't have them, Dad does. And Dad never told him that, Dean never asked.

"I think," he starts, "that there is an angel sitting on our shoulders. No, Sammy, you can't see it, but it's there. And I think Mom is on your shoulder."

"Mom ? On mine ? Why can't she be on both our shoulders ?"

"She doesn't need to be on mine, she knows me already. But she doesn't know you. She didn't have the time. So, now, she's on your shoulder and she watches you, watches who you are, and watches over you."

Sam stays silent for a while. He looks like he's thinking about the fact that his mom who he doesn't know is sitting on his shoulder. He finally nods, accepting the idea.

"Maybe I should talk to her, now that I know that she is there."

"Tell her I miss her, okay ?"

"You can talk to her too. You can tell her."

Dean smiles. He takes his brother in his arms. He closes his eyes tight, not wanting to cry. Not right now, not with Sammy there.

"Thank you for letting me talk to her. It means a lot."

"It's normal, it's your mom too."

"I miss you mom," he whispers.

Sam only tightens his grip.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam is 7 and he's running, backpack on his back, inside the motel room they rented few weeks ago. John tries to stay in the same hotel room as long as possible for the boys and their school but sometimes they really have to go and Sam hates it but he doesn't have a choice.

But today is a special day and nothing will bring him down.

When he opens the door, he let his bag falls on the ground and he jumps on his brother who is laying on his bed. He's homesick and that's why Sam had to go alone at school today.

"Dean, Dean, Dean !" he shouts. "Dean, it's snowing for your birthday ! Come outside with me !"

"Dad said I shouldn't leave the bed today," Dean growled.

Dean turns, making his little brother falls on the ground, and lay on his belly. Sam laughs and returns on his feet.

"Come ooooon !" insists Sam. "It's your birthday ! We can go make angel in the snow ! Or make an igloo ! After I can make you soup like you did for me the other day."

Dean considers that idea and seems to think it's a good one.

"Okay but we don't tell Dad I went outside."

Sam's smile touches his ears. He's really happy to go play outside with his brother. Dean quickly puts on his clothes and they are already outside. They do a snowball battle (Dean wins), an angel in the snow, a snowman with screams and laughs and then go back inside before John arrives and before it's too dark.

Their noises are all red and cold when they smell the tomato soup Dean helps Sam prepares and they eat while Sam tells his school day to his brother.

"I don't like that teacher, he always take me for a stupid," he explains, "but I'm not stupid and I already know the stuff we are learning. So instead I draw, but it's not really drawing, it's more because I'm bored, y'know ? "

Dean nods, promising himself he will talks to that teacher, even if he's only 11 and the teacher won't care what he will tell him. The door of the motel room opens and John walks in.

"Dad !"

"Hey, sons, had a great day ?" he asks while quickly hiding something behind his back.

"Well, I sleep," simply says Dean.

"That teacher was stupid !" Sam repeats. "Dad, you okay ?"

He walks toward his father and John tells him it's nothing, but Dean too can see that bruise on John's forehead. John, on the other hand, can see their noses and cheeks still red.

"Dean, you went outside ?"

"A... little ?" answers Dean, not sure at all of his Dad's reaction.

But John says nothing, smile a bit. He tells Sam to sit and Sam finally see the box he's trying to hide.

"What's that ? Is that for Dean ? I'm sure it's for Dean !"

"It's for Dean ! Well, maybe he will be okay to share with you."

"What's that ?"

John walks toward his older son and give him the box. Sam runs to see at the exact same time as Dean.

"It's a cake !" exclaims Sam.

"I know, I have eyes," replies Dean.

"Happy birthday, Dean." John smiles.

Sam shouts an "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAN !" really happy beside them and Dean thanks the both of them.

"Of course I will share with you," he adds at Sam's hopeful eyes.

John cuts the cake and they eat it, even Dean who is homesick. The cake is really good, a chocolate one, and it's one of Dean's favourite. Sam then does his home works and John take Dean outside.

"I have a something for you," he says.

"Oh, okay ?"

John takes something is pocket and give it to his son. Dean takes it with curiosity and open the package. He escapes a gasp of surprise when he sees the silver blade of the knife.

"I- thanks Dad," he murmurs.

He takes the weapon in his hand and it fit strangely.

"With a little of practice, you'll be good. We can try soon," proposes John.

"Will I became a hunter like you ?"

"I will give you everything to be one. I will train you. And then you will be able to protect yourself and your brother."

Dean nods and swallows. He's not sure he's ready but he won't let his Dad knows that. John pats his shoulder and leaves him alone outside. Looking at the weapon again, Dean sighs. He hide to weapon and enters inside too.

Sam had finished his home works and proposes they all watch a movie together since it's a special day, but it's Dean's choice since it's his special day. Dean says that he's okay and, after having hidden the knife under the mattress so Sammy won't see it, they all sit on the couch to watch the movie.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean and John starts to leave the house a few time, and then more and more. They can left for few hours or for a whole day. That's why Sam starts being at Bobby's more often. He starts noticing Dean's bruises and cut after a while. He doesn't say anything about that but shout Dad a suspicious look. When Sam asks Bobby if he thinks John's beating Dean, the old man just laugh.

"Where did you get that idea, son ?"

"But," Sam wants to continue but Bobby cut him.

"Your Dad isn't beating Dean. He's helping him."

"Dean has a problem ?"

"No. Stop thinking about that, you're too young."

Sam growls in frustration and go hide in the library. He choose one of his favorite book, sit on the floor and open it. He has to be very careful because some of the books are really old and he doesn't want to rip pages off.

Sam really like Bobby's gigantic library. He 'found' it when he was alone, bored, waiting for his brother to come back from whenever he was with Dad. Now, when he's not doing his home works, he goes there and take a book and read, read and read. Bobby's books doesn't make any sense, they talk about Norse Gods and monsters and demons and such things doesn't exist but Sam found them fascinating anyway. He looks at the images and the drawing, learns everything he can about vampires and myths and he passes all his time. Dean saw him reading one, once, and he ordered him to stop reading this stupids books but Sam wants to read it so he does. Also, if Bobby have them, these aren't stupids books, are they ? That's probably what makes him think that what's written in them is real, really real.

This thought hits him and suddenly he can't stop thinking about it. He doesn't know why but he thinks maybe he's right, even if it seems like it doesn't make sense.

When Dean arrives that night, with a bit of blood on his forehead, Sam is awake. Dean looks tired and he's dirty and Sam think maybe he's really right. He takes Dean's arm and pull him into the bathroom to wash his face.

"Sammy, what are you-"

"I'm not stupid, you know," Sam says, a knot in his throat.

"What gave you the impression I think you are ?"

"I know what Dad and you do all the time, and why we are always moving."

"What ? No, you don't," Dean replies.

"As I said I am not stupid. I made researches about monsters." Sort of.

"No you haven't. You're 8, you don't make research about monsters."

"Can I help ?"

"What ? No !"

Sam's eyes widen in realization.

"So you and dad really chase monsters ?"

"Was that a trick ? How are you so smart ?" Dean complains with a whine.

"So you really do ?" Sam is insistent. He wants to know everything.

"Well, not me," Dean says. "I'm not good enough yet. But Dad does, all the time."

Dean sighs and stay silent for a while, and then his eyes bigger and he looks at his brother.

"Don't ever tell dad you know, ok ?" he asks.

"Why not ?"

"Because he will make you hunt. And you will never hunt okay ? I will not make you hunt."


End file.
